Office rudeness

Just after I read Dbud's correct assessment of rude gum chomping something equally as rude happened to me, albeit with his mouth closed.

I was on the phone with a friend - yes I make the occasional personal call at work, life doesn't stop b/c I am here in priso...err the office - I was speaking in French in fact when a co-worker of mine walked into my office. He saw that I was on the phone yet for some unknown reason (perhaps he forgot politeness or assumed I needed moral support for a phone call) he came around my desk (another exceedingly RUDE gesture) and started looking on my bookshelf for something. I continued my conversation and yanked the folder I presumed he was looking for and handed it to him. He then left, without so much as a thank you. In fact he looked more annoyed since I actually want him to do something for me - b/c since he's criticized the last 7 versions of something I am working on I told him to do it himself. Whatever. How did he know I wasn't on the phone with one of our 5 Quebec clients? Exactly. Le salaud!

Someone needs to start an office decorum school. Better yet there should be a number you can call when someone pulls something like this. That would be great - we could have an office SWAT team. All you have to do is dial some easy number, like 611 and you get a live operator trained in dispatch as well as talking you down off the ledge. They would then send someone out to take care of the situation. Hmm come to think of it a couple different personality options would be good - to match the mood you are in when you call.

The Hotheaded New Yorker
Caller: "I need some help, my boss just a passive-aggressive little post-it on my computer that says "See me whenever you have a sec."
Vito (in a call center north of 95th street): "What duh fuuuk? He did dat to you? When?"
Caller: "I went to take a whizz for 2 seconds and it was there when I got back."
Vito: "Unfuggginbelievable. Gimme a sec - Luis, Tony get downtown now and takecareadis!"

The Pissed Off Black Sista
Operator: "Hello this is Nyaiqu'esha Smith, what did that fool do now?"
Caller: "She just send me an email cc'ing my co-worker Linda..."
Operator: "Gurl, that ain't something I can..."
Caller: "She sent it asking me to ask Linda what time the meeting was..."
Operator: "NUH-uh!? Wait wait lemme get this straight, she emailed YOU and LINDA at the same motherfukkin' time and asked YOU to email the other bitch?"
Caller: "This was the 4th time this morning
Operator: "Oh it is ON gurl. I'm gonna handle this personally. BONITA! Go get me my bitchslappin wig, they're a cracker on K street that needs some attentions!
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I think this would be very effective. Sadly no such number exists. My adderall seems to have kicked in now so I should do some work but I'm getting my revenge.

He's on the phone now in his office. I think I will go sit in there and do my timesheets while he talks to his wife.