Deep breaths and happy hump day!

Howdy. Sorry to be such a stranger. This is a very busy week. Don't you love the run-up to the holidays? Seems like EVERYTHING needs to happen in the next couple of weeks and then before xmas - and now it has gone into overdrive! I'm holding it together for the most part - little "take a deep breath" moments now and then. I just need to pace myself and try not to run myself ragged trying to please everyone. I (LOL once again) have a lynchpin role at work where I am the central person in charge of getting anything and everything done. For once I do have the power to make decisions as I see fit and the important people backing me up. I just need to stay focused and chop away at the huge "woodpile" of tasks and backlogged work from before I got here. Everyone has been very appreciative and supportive thus far - but it's crunch time and people are starting to stress - so it's easy to get a lil caught up in that. Yesterday was one of those days - it was exhausting! People just kept appearing at my door, calling, emailing (at one point I got 15 emails in the span of 2 minutes), sending smoke signals, signal flares the whole nine yards. Of course someone was very rude and barged into my office without knocking (the door was closed but not locked!) when I was on a personal call (which I rarely have time for - Dbud & the boo being exceptions) and then stood there even when I gave her the "be right with you" motion. Then an important professor appeared and interjected that my boss needed me right away - which turned out to be a joke - he did need me but it wasn't that important. Needless to say I was a little frazzled and in turn I frazzled the fella on the phone. But it's all fine and quiet here right now. Deep breaths. I am taking a much needed blog break from the stack of invoices, expense reports, budget memos, HR forms, and class schedules to drain the built-up angst resulting from the busy-ness in life right now. I will be very content once T-giving is over and we are into December. After Dec 18th my worklife will slow down bigtime I am told. I am looking forward to the month in between semesters. It will be deserted around here and give me time to get organized, take longer lunches, leave early, come in late etc - all without the worry of my boss watching me. My new boss wants me to do just this in fact - with his blessing (what a change from the last one) - he's a nice guy and he'll also be out for 3 weeks! :-)

Ok it is back to the task list now. I'm glad I took the time to blog a bit. I want to blog more, I miss it! I even have a whole plan for my shopping deals blog - just need a solid block of time to work on it. I'm off to NYC this weekend so guess it will have to wait a little longer. I definitely will have it done in time for December. I need to find a way to supplement my now drastically lower income - I was prepared for this but I'm shelling out a lot of money lately on expenses for school - (i have to park once a week so I can make it to class on time and it's too far for metro) and life in general. I can't wait to do my taxes, I think I am getting a big refund this year - even after re-balancing my deductions! Anyhoo look for my shopping deals soon and please click on my links when you are avoiding the malls and shopping online. I'll find you the best deals, it will cost you nothing and will help defray my expenses too. Win win for all!

Bye folks. Happy Hump Day.

I take that back! One other thing I need to just put on the table and let go of. I'm pulling away from talking too much, overadvising and getting too caught up in things. I've been getting all entangled in the emotions and challenges of a lot of loved ones in my life. It's been hard b/c a lot of people are going through trying times. Being the "do-er" person that I am (the ADD doesn't help!) idle hands are really the devil's work to me. It is excruciatingly hard for me to just listen and be supportive, without trying to interject solutions, too much advice or getting really worked up. I just really love people and the desire to fix everything to make things better can be overwhelmingl hard to stop at times. As DBud always says, I'm a very sensitive guy. I care a lot and it's hard for me to see people I love go through rough patches. But I need to get out of the "I'm useless" or "I'm no good to them b/c I can't do anything" mode. It is wildly hard for me to sit on the sidelines, I hate feeling helpless and out of control. That is a major area of work for me. Those feelings are bad, mute my real personality and detract from my own happiness. I can't be everything at all times and I need to learn that (hopefully) nobody will love me any less or think any less of me if I can be of some "use" in their lives or the problem at hand (even in cases whether the problem may be a good one!).

I guess I have to just remember to stay focused on "helping" my friends, family and loved ones by really just listening, offering advice when asked and not fueling the fire by putting myself into their shoes - it can become to emotional for me, which ain't gonna help the person I'm trying to be supportive of. It can be hard for me - b/c for the people I really care about, I get fiery if someone or something is affecting them. Some people have said that it's a good quality b/c it really shows how much I love someone and how loyal I am to my family and friends - I mean hell hath no fury if you're picking on someone in my circle, you're going to experience my dark side (not pretty) - but I need to regulate that so I don't overstep my bounds, say too much or get myself waaaaaaay to worked up so that it affects my own happiness.

Anyhoo enough soul searching for the moment - I needed to get that out. I wrote for longer than I should have but f-it, it's out in the open now and somehow that helps. I'm a good guy and I'm imperfect but I'm working on things and I accept myself for who I am. I'm a big dramatic pain sometimes (or maybe a lot) but hopefully the love and care that motivates it is worth it. I hate to sound like a weirdo but I love you all - especially those select few who know what I'm talking about. For the rest of you - thanks as always for listening. :-)

Happy Hump Day! I'm smiling now!