Yo yo yoga! I'm never doing it again!

Ok friends here's the deal. I went to the gym tonight after long crazy day at work... of course as soon as I get all settled and changed I realized I didn't have my mp3 player... not good.

But I plugged on valiantly, thinking the frat rock they play at Gold's (or the "10 things I hate about you" soundtrack as I told Boo on Saturday) might keep me amused and motivated. Well after 3 hard sets (even at the piddly weight I can lift) on 2 chest areas and my legs I realize - no way am I going to be able to power through cardio or abs sans musique.

Luckily - a yoga class was about to start. I've never done Yoga before I was a Body Flow class devotee for a long time (it is yoga, pilates and tai-chi + 5 mins of meditation at the end - LOVE IT!) so I figured I wouldn't be a total loser.

In fact I was fine for the first hour... yes you read that correctly... the first HOUR of class.... nobody mentioned it was a 1 and a HALF hour freaking class. Ummmmm no thanks. I don't mind pushing myself but that was far too long. Oh - and the instructor (and honestly I really liked her spirit and encouragement) barely spoke English... She pretty much spoke very quick sets of English-like words strung together in sentence-like form - though only lightly rooted in standard 5th grade grammar. Again - she was an absolute sweetheart! But the crazy sentences, liberally sprinkled with Indian posture phrases (all of which ended up sounding like her saying the name of Gilda Radner's "Rosanna Rosanna Danna" character from Saturday Night Live...) were EXTRA amusing (and barely intelligible) thanks to Madame Yoga's thick Russian accent... In her opinion pain was good for both the body and soul - and she let us know it (people were groaning and wincing) as she waltzed about class trying to encourage us with phrases like "No worry! I security you back! Security, head tuck hands outstending now POOOOOOSH"

I was not amused... my back hurt, my stomach was barking my mind was racing thinking that the almost 3 hours at the end totally screwed my evening plans of laundry and selling things on Ebay! And then as if a Russian drill sargent yoga instructor wasn't enough...

And then people started to fart...

I'm told this is common in yoga - I will have to take their word for it... I'll stick to Crack Dancer Step with Josefina - it might not be graceful - but at least nobody is flatulant!