Safety Date too

First off, if you aren't reading the Sean Show you're a (insert expletive adjective here) (insert expletive noun or additional modifier here) ... but Monsieur le Sean Show was good enough to expand on a concept he mention in one of his latest posts... the Safety Date - something I'm wasn't so familiar with in name...

But he was kind enough to provide a comprehensive definition aqui... so that got me thinking (and avoiding work!) about my own experiences with the Safety Date.

Back in my single days and especially after breakup #1 - my gurlfriend and sista we know as Watusi and I had a very specific system of Safety Dating. Both he and I are magnets for people from all walks of life - often very good but sometimes very weird. To compensate we used to set up a system of warnings, or "safe words" before we'd go out and hit the town (he'd broken up briefly with his man and was in school fulltime and I was working at Trader Joe's slinging wine and pondering my next move in life jobwise - suffice it to say we went out a lot! :-)

Our system went something like this... being a linguist and a fan of spontaneity I liked creating safe words that would not be noticed in conversation but would also be hard to work into a normal discussion thus forcing the poor quivering victim to think harder on the fly lest he get stuck with the slobbering drunk guy pawing at you, the guy trying to 'insta-date' or in my case the guy who just loved "Indian guys" or "Middle Eastern" or my personal favorite "ethnic guys" - now I don't mind being the star at Desi night in New York but every other day I'm just an American whitey who likes olive oil and can get a tan without turning bright red first... but I digress here's how it would go:

"Merrland" - used to say "GET THIS MAN AWAY FROM ME" - used like "Hey Watusi, I just remembered we need to go pick-up my new sofa in Merrland tomorrow"
Similar terms included geography throughout the state of Merrland, especially Ballmer, Seat Pleasant and the dreaded Lanham - if we suddenly had a conversation about the bridges of Prince George's County that meant you were getting the heave-ho and fast!

"Jane Mansfield...not a good auto reference" - from TWFTFEJN - Watusi and I have memorized the entire movie and can drop them at will - this line could often be used to signal the other to move things along quickly while still being polite... This could be hard to work into conversation but it was fun trying to do - plus it left the offender dazed and confused - perfect for you to make your escape.

example: "I just got my car washed today and I felt like Miss Jane Mansfield driving around in it... "Oooh Jane Mansfield... not a good auto reference... speaking of which we need to get going I think my car is getting towed, nice to meet you!"

"City folk" or "City People" - meaning, he's good people, cute guy or generally likable - "I just saw so-and-so in her new Escalade and man she parked that in a flash, I don't know how she did it!" "Well city folk tend to be good at that sort of thing..."

and finally...

"Take a picture it will last you longer..." - this needs no explanation b/c once they saw you walking away from them, hopefully they got the hint...

ah good times... I can't remember them all - I will need to ask Watusi but it was a fun little game that was also very practical...

P.S. Fluoride - this means something to someone.